75 Questions to Ask Before an Arranged Marriage (2026)
By Hugsy Team75 questions
An arranged-marriage meeting gives two people very little time to decide something very big. Small talk about hobbies won't tell you how someone handles money, family or a bad day.
Ask a few of these each time you talk, answer them yourself too, and let the conversation go wherever it wants to.
Want to answer these without hearing each other's answer first? Try them in Hugsy.
Not sure where to start?
How has this whole process of biodatas and meetings been for you so far?
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First meetings: getting to know the person
16 questions- 01How has this whole process of biodatas and meetings been for you so far?
- 02What do you honestly think about arranged marriage?
- 03Do you feel ready to get married yourself, or is it more your family's timeline right now?
- 04What does a normal weekday look like for you, from waking up to going to sleep?
- 05What do you like to do on days you aren't working?
- 06Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert?
- 07What made you say yes to meeting me?
- 08Is there anything important about you that the biodata doesn't show?
- 09What qualities do you value most in the people closest to you?
- 10Would you call yourself traditional, modern, or somewhere in between?
- 11What's a difficult time in your life that changed how you see things?
- 12How do you usually handle a disagreement with someone close to you?
- 13Do you see marriage as a partnership of equals? What does that look like day to day?
- 14What does respect look like to you on an ordinary day?
- 15Who has been the biggest influence on the person you are today?
- 16What does being "settled" mean to you, beyond what people say?
Family, home and in-laws
13 questions- 17Tell me about your parents as people, not just what they do for work.
- 18Who are you closest to in your family?
- 19How are big decisions made in your family?
- 20After marriage, do you picture us living with family, on our own, or close by?
- 21If we lived in a joint family, what would we need to still have time as a couple?
- 22What do you think the two of us owe both sets of parents after marriage?
- 23How often feels right to you for visiting each set of parents?
- 24As our parents get older, how should we share looking after both sides?
- 25If your parents and I ever disagreed about something, how would you handle it?
- 26How involved do you want our families to be in the big decisions of our life?
- 27Which festival matters most in your home, and how does your family celebrate it?
- 28How should we divide festivals between both families?
- 29What's one family tradition you'd want to bring into our marriage?
Career, city and daily life
10 questions- 30What do you love about your work, and what part do you just put up with?
- 31Where do you see your career in five years?
- 32Do you plan to keep working after marriage, and after children? What do you expect from your partner?
- 33If one of us got a great job in another city or country, how would we decide?
- 34If both our careers can't lead at once, whose goes first, and could we take turns?
- 35Where would you like to live long term: this city, your hometown, or abroad?
- 36Are you an early riser or a night owl?
- 37Veg, egg or non-veg, and does it matter to you what gets cooked at home?
- 38How do you think cooking, cleaning, bills and errands should be split between us?
- 39How much time do you want to keep for your own friends and hobbies after marriage?
Money
8 questions- 40Joint account, separate accounts, or a mix: what would feel right to you?
- 41Honestly, are you more of a saver or a spender?
- 42Are there loans, EMIs or family commitments I should know about?
- 43Do you support your parents or siblings financially, and will that continue after marriage?
- 44How much should we each send our parents every month, and should it be equal on both sides?
- 45What did money arguments look like in your home growing up?
- 46Big wedding or a simple one: how much feels right to spend, and who decides?
- 47If anyone brings up dowry or "gifts", where do you stand?
Children and roles at home
9 questions- 48Do you want children? If yes, how many and roughly when?
- 49If having a child turned out to be hard for us, would you be open to IVF or adoption?
- 50If we both work, how should looking after a baby be shared?
- 51How much say should grandparents have in how we raise our children?
- 52What values would you most want our children to grow up with?
- 53Do you think you'd be a strict parent or a relaxed one?
- 54What would you hope I'd do for you as a partner, without you having to ask?
- 55Which old-fashioned rule about husbands and wives would you happily drop?
- 56Would you want your own children to have an arranged marriage?
Past, health and faith
11 questions- 57Is there anything from your past you'd rather I hear from you than from someone else?
- 58Have you been in a serious relationship before? Share only as much as you're comfortable with.
- 59What has a past relationship or experience taught you about what you need?
- 60Is there a health condition, yours or in the family, that would be good for me to know about?
- 61How would you feel about both of us getting a basic health check-up before the wedding?
- 62Do you drink or smoke, and how do you feel about a partner who does?
- 63How do you feel about counselling or therapy, if we ever needed it?
- 64How religious is your day-to-day life?
- 65How much should kundali matching matter in this decision, for you and for your family?
- 66Is there a fast or vrat you keep? Would you expect your partner to keep it too?
- 67If our families follow different customs, how do we respect both?
Deal-breakers and the big picture
8 questions- 68What's one thing you would never compromise on?
- 69Is there a deal-breaker you'd want me to know about now rather than later?
- 70What counts as cheating to you?
- 71What do you think would change the most for you after marriage?
- 72What do you think about separation or divorce, if a marriage truly isn't working?
- 73What do you hope our marriage feels like ten years from now?
- 74Is there something you've wanted to ask me but felt shy about?
- 75What would help you feel sure about your answer, whether it's yes or no?
How to use these
- Take turns. If you ask a question, answer it yourself as well, so it feels like a conversation and not an interview.
- Keep money, children and health for the second or third conversation, ideally a call without family listening in.
- "I haven't thought about that yet" is a fine answer. An honest "I don't know" tells you more than a polished one.
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Where these questions come from
We read the lists couples already search for, kept the questions that work, and rewrote or replaced most of them in our own words. Some come from the 2,000+ prompts inside the Hugsy app. A person reviews every list before it goes live.
